The Real Reason Self Help Programs Aren’t Making You A Success

15 or so years ago I ordered my first self help audio program. It was Tony Robbins Personal Power 2. I finished the entire program. It helped. I got into better shape. I figured out a solution for one of my businesses and was overall much more motivated than before. Suddenly I was in the office at 6:00 am every morning. Employees and other business owners in my building commented on it. Things were rolling.

Then the habits I created with this program started to slowly disappear. I quit working out every morning. I started to not be so motivated and pretty soon I had lost the drive I gained during the program. So I decided to try the program again. But it wasn’t new this time. It wasn’t as good. I remember all this stuff I thought. Even when I did the exercises, I didn’t get the same greatness from it. So I ordered another tape program by Earl Nightingale. Different delivery but a great program. Motivated me a little bit but nothing like the first time I went through the Robbins program. Fast forward to now, today.

I have spent the last 15 years reading and listening to self help or motivational material. I have spent countless hours reading. I have watched thousands of videos and seminars and read hundreds of books on the subject. Whether this was productive or not is debatable at this point. I am not living on the beach, working in my dream business. In fact, I am rebuilding a business, in an area I actually hate very much.

In short, what happened is I became a self help junkie. I became more interested in the next thing, instead of what works. If something works you should keep working it. You should not look for a thing that is better. But this is what I have done over and over. It is probably what you do. Everybody does it. This is partially why I started this blog. I knew it would be successful. Why? Because people would rather read about some new trick to make them successful than do the actual work which they know they should be doing. The internet has made this even easier to do. You can get lost for hours and read new insight from somebody, every minute of every day.

I also started this blog to weed through the bs and give people the only things which actually work and will help you improve your life. I have narrowed this down to a few things and that is my message. I am here to give you the few things which really work.

To be fair to Tony Robbins, his program did work. I saw tremendous value from it. Had I been able to turn around my failing business at the time (which is why I ordered his program), I would be telling anyone who would listen how great he was. The truth is I was in a downward spiral and the business was next to impossible to save. This gave me a reason to stop the good habits, because, at the time, they weren’t working.

So what are these few things that work for success in life?

  1. Get and stay in the best possible shape you can. To be a success you need energy. The easiest way to get it is to exercise and eat healthy. Plain and simple.
  2. Make a decision. Decide! Really decide what you want and what you are going to do to get it. Decide to start the business, get in shape, etc. This is your vision.
  3. Have a vision. This is what you want to do in life. Think about it all day. Move towards this vision of your business, body, life. Visualize it, dream about it and make actions towards it.

So the formula is this. Decision+Vision=Your Mission

Decide what you are going to do. Then do it. Create a vision for what you want and make it your mission to accomplish it. Everything else is just bullshit.

This is it. Don’t become a self help junkie. Make your decision, have a vision and make it your mission. Start immediately. No need to plan anymore. We are all guilty of this. Action is always better than none. Use motivational videos and books to get you to take action, not to keep planning.

This Works Twice As Fast As Goal Setting

Goal setting. The holy grail of the self help world. It really is one of the few things taught by almost every single motivational teacher on the planet in some form. But does it work? Is it really necessary for success in your life? Yes and no. It never hurts to have things to shoot for. But it isn’t the absolute end all be all of performance and success. In fact, I would argue that some people will be hindered by setting arbitrary goals. What happens if you don’t meet or achieve those goals. It might set you back and change a once confident mindset. Besides, I know people who have never written down a goal in their life and make more money than most of these “teachers” or anybody else for that matter.

I can’t tell you how many times I have read the same tired motivational lines. You cannot hit a target unless you have one. A missile has to have a target to hit. Without goals you are just shooting in the dark. And on and on and on.

My Experience…

I ordered and completed a 30 day audio program by a world famous motivator about 15 years ago. One of the audios was about goal setting. The guy talked about how he achieved all these things months after setting the goals to do so. He was very persuasive and believing, so I committed to the course did the exercises.

Basically, he had you lay out all your goals and then pick three things you would do in the next few days to move you towards each of these goals. It really wasn’t a bad or unproductive exercise. In fact, I would say out of the thirty days, this was the most productive exercise of all.

At the time I was running an internet based business offshore and getting new customers was getting harder and harder to come by. This was after the dotcom bust and the economy in general was not that great. So one of the goals I set was to reach and acquire new customers. Out of this exercise I came up with the idea to build some portal websites to drive traffic to my main site. The portal thing turned out to be a huge money maker. We started attracting customers and helped weather a bad storm. When the main business started doing bad these portal sites took over as my main business. So, all in all it was a good idea which came out of this goal setting/brainstorming session.

So just to be honest, I am not bashing goal setting. Like I said, this one exercise gave me a full blown business which at one point was making me 20k a month in profits. I just think there are quicker ways to access the unlimited power of your mind and give you quicker success.

A Better Idea…

Around the same time I did this goal setting session, I started reading about visualizing. This was way before the movie The Secret came out and made the law of attraction so popular. I actually was reading the book Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. This is what lead me to visualizing. If I remember right, I heard about him from a guy named Matt Furey who sells fitness info online. I also learned about Dan Kennedy from him but that is another story.

Mr. Maltz was a plastic surgeon. This was in the sixties I think and he did surgeries mostly for people who had been disfigured or had some defect or abnormality. It wasn’t so much cosmetic as a plastic surgeon would be today. Well, he noticed that after he fixed the abnormality, most people would still be self conscious about it. This led him to discover that if you changed your self image, you could change most anything in your life. The quickest way to do this is by visualizing. I won’t get into visualizing in this post, but it can be a very powerful and I will get into it in the future more in depth.

So this is my opinion. The vision of something is far more important than a singular goal or group of goals. A vision, a real strong vision will move you closer to what you want than any sort of goal setting or writing down of goals. Every business I have had has come down to vision. When I had a clear vision of what I wanted, the business usually turned out okay. When I had a cloudy or unclear vision, it didn’t do so well. I find myself in this dilemma right now. I keep going back and forth with my current business about what I want to do. I just can’t figure out what it is I want. This stems from the fact that I despise the business I am currently in. I know this but remain stuck. I am working my way out as we speak (or write) with a new, more complete vision.

You must always have a vision. If you have a business you want to start or grow then think about how that will look in five or ten years and make it that way. I have seen many great businesses built from nothing. They all have one thing in common. A owner who has a vision and believes in it.

I don’t believe in my vision right now and my business is suffering from it. So, I am working on a new vision. Instead of setting a bunch of goals which won’t work out because my vision is not congruent, I am charting a whole new course.

My point is this. If you have a vision or mission for your business or life, goal setting is irrelevant. Everything will automatically be pointed towards this vision. But, it must be crystal clear in order for it to work. You must be able to see it and believe that it is achievable. This is, kind of, what I believe the law of attraction really is. It is just a vision.

When you have a clear vision, things begin to happen to you which will help you achieve that vision. I no longer think it is magic or some law. I just think you begin to notice things which will drive you towards your vision, sometimes subconsciously. This can seem like magic or some force, but the force is really just your mind. Your mind is very complex and in a way it can work like magic. We have no idea what the power of our mind really can accomplish.

So get your vision crystal clear in your head of what you want your life and business to look like. Then decide to make this vision a reality. Then visualize this vision until it becomes real to you. Once it becomes real in your mind, reality will catch up real soon.

The Mind Tricks Of The Ultra Successful

I have a friend who is very successful. He makes probably between 500-700k per year depending on the business that year. He is in storm repair work. Before that he was in mortgages and made a lot of money doing that as well. He is always spinning what he does as fun, exciting and amazing no matter what it is. I remember him telling me how awesome he was when he was dead broke after the mortgage business collapsed. At the time I just thought his ego was out of control. Now I know he was just using some sort of mind trick on himself to move him forward where he needs to be. I have never talked to him about this and he probably knows he is doing on some level but not really. It is just how he does it.

I remember the first time I saw the cracks appear in the “self help” fa├žade sold by Tony Robbins and the like. I was a true believer in Mr. Robbins at one point. I used his program and things did change. But it wasn’t really a solid strategy like he tries to sell. It was the motivated state he put me in that helped. I have never understood this. He tries to position himself as a “coach” and strategist when in reality he just motivates people. He knows this. Why the bullshit then? I don’t know.

I had been using and listening to his material for some time when I realized he was just selling mind tricks. The same type my friend uses. They worked for him sure. But they might not work for everybody. Nothing wrong with selling your little tricks you use on yourself to make you successful. What rubs me the wrong was is presenting them as “conditioning” and programming. They are motivational mind tricks and nothing else.

When I finally came to this realization I felt like a sucker. Like I had been played. I had. Most successful people have their own tricks and use their own ideas, not someone else’s. Solid business strategies and focusing on growth of sales, profits, etc. are much more productive then shooting for the stars and hoping you hit a home run. But this is the thing.

People don’t want to hear about sales and profits. They want to hear about magical strategies and see your car, yacht, house, etc. Tony and others like him know this. They use this to get people to think if they do these same things then maybe they too might have a house overlooking the ocean. But more often than not, this is not the case. People like Mr. Robbins are super, ultra driven and motivated people. I would guess you could put a guy like him in any sales position and he would be making a million a year in short order. Most people are not this motivated and don’t have this much energy.

The first program I listened to him he went on and on about how he had a house by the ocean and a stretch limo within months of applying the things he was teaching. What he didn’t say was that he didn’t own that house. He covered his ass in a later program and said that he really thought it was his so it was (or something like that). He was renting it and then after saying on live TV that it was his house he worked out a rent to own sort of thing so he wouldn’t seem like a charlatan for saying it was his house. Then I watched a a&e biography of Tony and his friend stated that he was hustling every day and week to make his payment on this house. I understand why he did this. He built this image and sold it. I ain’t mad. I am just trying to give you the truth. Build your own brand. Make your own rituals and tricks. Use people like this to inspire you but don’t buy into the bullshit.

I am not bashing Tony Robbins. I like his message and if you emulated him you would probably see better results in like and business. He definitely has something to offer to people. He definitely is successful. I am just saying. Read between the lines and see him and others like him for what they are. They are hustlers. Motivators. Hard workers. Driven people. They got to where they are by working really hard at what they do: motivate people. They don’t have any strategies which will perform magic in your life.

Here is the greatest and most profound way to change your life and I somewhat learned it from Tony Robbins. Take two things which you need to change in your life and decide, really DECIDE, to change them right now. Then write down a few things you can do to start changing them today. Then write three things everyday you can do to change these things. People quit smoking, lose weight and make more money just by doing this simple exercise and you don’t need a seminar to do it. Get a pen and a paper and get started right now. Today.

Create your own little mind tricks. When you find something that works repeat it over and over and over again. This is what successful people do. I am here to spread the truth and give you advice that works, plain and simple.



The Real Reason You Are Not Successful

First I want to clear the air. I am so fucking sick and tired of hearing the excuses of why a self help method or law of attraction method doesn’t work. Not from the people trying said methods, but the people pushing these bullshit methods.

Attract These…

So you are not “attracting” money and success? Oh, it must be that you don’t believe. You don’t have a mansion and Porsche? Oh, you are just focusing on the negativity right before you are about to be blessed. Or the one I like the best: you have a problem receiving. I have heard many new age bullshitters spout this one.

So how do I know so much about these bullshit excuses? Well, I have read hundreds of books and probably thousands of articles on these so called methods of “attraction” and “manifestation”. I have read pretty much every self help strategy at one point or another. At some point I was into just about every self help or new age teacher. This is how I do it. If I like someone and their message resonates with me, I buy everything they have to offer. So I am not bashing people for listening to these “teachers”, but just trying to spread some truth (which is the whole point of this blog). I want to point out the “self help” scam and point people towards business and life strategies which actually work.


Now don’t get me wrong. I think there is a little truth to all of this. The bible says you reap what you sow. True. It also says you can move mountains with your faith. Probably somewhat true. But, when it doesn’t work and you have been following it with your heart and head it can seem like complete and utter bullshit after a long enough time. I am at this time in my life. I am beginning to see through the bullshit. And it is bullshit. Not the bible mind you, but the idea that you can change your attitude and faith and everything in life will turn around. Let me explain.

Do I think that you can attract goodness into your life by thinking positive thoughts? Yes. I think if you think positive thoughts you can most certainly have better results than a negative person. But will your positive thoughts manifest things in your life like magic? No. That’s well packaged bullshit. Serendipity or the Universe or God will help those who work hard and present the “universe” with more options. In other words, if you work hard, give yourself more opportunities, you will inevitably experience a greater chance of having some things work out for you. This will seem like magic to a lifelong slacker who grew up thinking they were destined to be poor.

Now, I am not bashing faith and belief. These are strong things that can indeed move mountains. But you must do things. You must move things forward. Hang around really successful people for a while and it won’t take you long to realize why they are successful.

What Really Works…

I do work for a multi millionaire real estate developer in my town. He was once mayor and owns a huge real estate brokerage and management company. I am not on his level. I am many rungs below his level. I am a owner of a contracting company that does work for his company. But you know what? If I call him, he answers his phone. ALWAYS. He was on his was into a city council meeting one time and took my call about a small ( I mean really small ) concrete job we were doing for him. He met me on a Saturday, driving a Ferrari, about a 5-6,000 dollar job one time in his workout clothes. It didn’t take me long to realize why he was so successful. You think he sits around thinking about “manifesting” and the universe. No, he is busy making moves and building his business.

My point is this. Can this stuff help? Sure. But don’t get wrapped up thinking about it. I wasted a good many years thinking eventually this self help stuff would help me out in life. It really didn’t. I should have been focused on things like making more sales and shrinking my ever growing list of business expenses and overhead. I should have been focusing on saving money instead of spending it. I should have been reading real business strategies. Remember, most self help gurus have never done anything except sell self help strategies. If you want to read true self help material, then read the biographies of successful businessmen.


How I Made $10,000.00 Per Month Online In Under Six Months

I once had a website that made $10,000.00 per month. Well just under ten grand to be exact. The best month I had was $9,700.00. I had many more that were just shy of that. So sit tight and I will tell you how I did it.

I had just gotten through running a million dollar a month business into the ground. It was a once in a lifetime business that could have changed my life forever. I have friends in the same business who basically retired. But not me. I was in the shit. The bad shit.

I remember shortly after I had to close this business down when I officially realized I had hit rock bottom. I was living in Central America and had just thrown my back completely out. I was wobbling around like I had a ice pick shoved in my back, or my ass.

I was hobbling down the road trying to wave down a taxi. I was heading to the small office I had to work on some websites I had built pushing Viagra and other pharmaceuticals. I was dead broke. I had change in my pocket to pay for the cab. Change. What the hell happened? Six months earlier and I would have been driving my BMW convertible to my high rise office overlooking the mountains. How the hell did this happen?

I decided something had to change. So, I went on a cleanse (fast), changed my diet and began running with friends at the university 4-5 days a week. I started getting into shape. I dropped about 30 pounds in a little over a month. Granted, this was not that hard, as I was a fat, bloated mess when I started. Anyways, that is what happened.

At the time I was looking for a product to sell online. I was reading lots of ebooks on how to sell products online. I quickly realized these people were making money from the books, not the ideas contained within. So I decided to write an ebook.

I wrote a 40 page ebook outlining how I lost my weight and got into shape. I then put up a website and started advertising it on Google.

I started selling books almost immediately, but nothing special. But, I was building my email list. Once this list started growing, so did my sales.

When I got the list to around 20,000 subscribers I started making some real money. I started selling a printed out version and recorded an audio program which I sold for double the price of the book. Before you know it I was making close to ten grand a month.

Then my google ads started not doing as well. They changed something in their ad code and my ads started not doing as well and costing me more money. Google loves to do this as soon as you figure out how to make money with their product. In fact, I hate Google because of this. Don’t be evil my ass. This company is pure scum in my opinion.

Anyways. I don’t know. Then I got in trouble with the company running my email list. It was an opt in list and I still got shut down. I had to have everybody re opt in or some shit and lost most of my subscribers. Before long I was selling just a few things here and there and barely turning a profit after ad costs. So, I made the decision to shut it down.

In less than a year the site went from $1,000.00 a month to almost ten and then down to nothing. Oh well. Easy come, easy go I guess. Still sucked. At one point I was thinking I was going to turn it into a whole product line of self help type products. That would have been nice.

But it wasn’t in the cards I guess. A silver lining was a few years later somebody paid me $4,000.00 for the domain name.